Hooray For You!

House of Pleasure

• *Phone rings*
• DJ Assault: Damn, I told them to change these phones. These some old ass phones.
• *Answers phone*
• DJ Assault: Hello? Assault's House of Pleasure, may I help you, baby?
• Female: Yes, I was calling, I was wondering about your uh full body massages? But I also see here on this flyer that you have a V.I.P. room.
• DJ Assault: That's right, baby.
• Female: Could you tell me a little more about that?
• DJ Assault: Yeah, baby. Check it out. Alright first, we have regular massage rooms which is um just standard regular, you know...facilities...that we have...in here that we do massages at. But see, the V.I.P room it features this treatment -special treatments for our V.I.P. customers, our preferred customers. We have this tongue bath treatments that's happenin.
• Female: Oh my.
• DJ Assault: Which is, it's a full body tongue bath after you get your massage. See what I'm sayin, honey?
• Female: Yeah yeah, I see what you sayin. Uh, I'm a little confused...
• DJ Assault: Oh, are you?
• Female: What exactly is a...tongue bath?
• DJ Assault: Well, uh, lemme break it down like this for you, baby. A tongue bath, it's like...if you would take a bath, you know how you take a bath?
• Female: Mmhm.
• DJ Assault: You run your water, you hop in, you're soapy -bubble bath maybe. You replace the wash cloth -you won't have one of those- with a tongue. And you just rub this tongue...it just RUBS and licks and stimulates all over your body, you know what I'm sayin?
• Female: Yeah, I know.
• DJ Assault: It just...explores all them places, you know, that your bitch ass man thinks is too nasty for him to do. You know what I'm sayin? But it just do all that. It don't half step. It just explores all them places, you with me so far?
• Female: Yeah, I'm with you. Well, I guess now all I need to know is can I make an appointment with you?
• DJ Assault: Oh yeah, baby. My sensuous doors are always open. Well, uh, the cost per hour is-
• Female: The cost? I didn't- I didn't even care about the cost.
• DJ Assault: Aw. Really?
• Female: I mean, you doin all that stimulatin...
• DJ Assault: Right, stimulatin.
• Female: And lickin and stickin. Just write me down for the next available time.
• DJ Assault: Alright then. Well, um, that- that'll work. Well, the next available appointment is -lemme see, lemme book it, lemme do some calculations...
• Female: Anything.
• DJ Assault: Alright, yeah. AHEM! Uh, excuse me...yeah, the next available appointment is nine o'clock. It's open. That's me next available appointment.
• Female: Well, that sounds good.
• DJ Assault: And um, yeah I wanna thank you for callin the house of pleasure.
• Female: You welcome.
• DJ Assault: Okay, yeah before I let you go remember, our motto is "To make your legs shake we will use extreme measures...at the House of Pleasure." Wanna thank you for calling, and I'll see you tonight. Bye bye.